Monday, December 06, 2004

Flipping Out

Last night, Henry and I sat down with the kids to kinda put our feet down about behavior lately. We are all in desperate need of more prayer and bible study time. Henry and I have both been kinda stressed but I think that Henry is probably stressed because I've been in a pretty cranky mood lately.

I'm not sure what it is.....other than it being a spiritual issue. I'm not in a Bible study right now and I'm really not doing much 'quiet time' on my own. It's pathetic that I need the accountability of a Bible study but it appears that is the case. Otherwise, I stay up entirely too late (just ordered more Mannatonin to try to correct that again, though) and just plop right in bed without reading my bible. I'll get into some reading during the day some but it's definitely not anything of much meat. My phone is ringing constantly or a kid is needing me for something. As much as I hate to admit it, I am just not reading my Bible lately.

So, after this meeting last night where Henry and I told the kids we were going to do better and how we expected them to help do better, I flipped out.

It started at Walmart -- kinda -- well the flipping out didn't start, but the pressure started building. All I have to say is "Walmart" on a December afternoon and I think the rest can be figured out. I wanted so badly to get in and out of ther quickly. But there are WAY too many distractions for kids right now and every step was, "Momma, look at this." "Momma, what's this?" "Momma, can we get this?" Or "Momma, didn't you say we needed one of these?" ARGH!

Then, in a rush at home (getting ready for a Mannatech meeting), Rocky locked He-Man in his bedroom by himself. He-Man was fine until he heard us trying to get in. Then he started getting upset. ARGH! And Rocky was warned about this LAST NIGHT!

THEN.....just a few minutes AFTER the locked door incident....I'm draining the noodles for spaghetti and SPLAT....the noodles ended up in the sink.

THAT is when I flipped out.

I told Henry I was leaving. Of course, it was time to leave anyway but I know the way it sounded was like I was leaving 'for good' or something.... It was one of those things where I just HAD to get out of the house.

I was so frustrated. I didn't care what Henry ended up doing with supper, just as long as I didn't have to do anything with it. I was done! (He did fine, by the way. Made some more noodles and served it up......just a little later than was originally planned).

I spent my whole car ride to the meeting in prayer. My biggest issue was that I did not want the Evil One to use this incident for his purposes. I prayed that God would please protect my children, Henry and me from harm because of my sin. I prayed in Jesus' name and I prayed for forgiveness. I sang praises to God knowing that it was for THESE REASONS that I needed Jesus...I'm such a sinner.

And thankfully, meeting went extremely well. It was our first official training meeting and the turnout and substance was really good. God blessed it even though I didn't deserve it.

Isn't God's mercy overwhelming?


glycogirl said...

Oh Stacy! I am so encouraged by your blog today! I have been feeling much the same way this past week and thought I was all alone - my friend Megan was thinking about starting a yahoo group called MannaRenew for those of us who need spiritual encouragement. What do you think of that idea? I'm so thankful that you are honest about your feelings - you are such a blessing to me! Chantelle

CFchampion said...

I feel the same way! well it happened a little earlier for me, I did almost the same thing but w/ a different situation. I think Megan's idea is awesome! keep on keeping on Stacy! I'm praying for you.

A Friend said...

Nice to hear of you flipping out, in a way, Stace. You always seem to have it together. :) I flip out at LEAST twice a week. :)

But you probably knew that! Hee