A Different Anniversary

I started writing about this a couple of nights ago. It was extremely long-winded and incomplete. Henry was exhausted just listening to me read my intro to him for his approval.

Now, I've ditched the previous post and I'm going to attempt a bullet-pointed piece that will hit the highlights and you'll just have to ask me to expound if you want to know more.

*September 10th was the one year anniversary of our house being for sale.

*We put the house up for sale so we could move into a house with a smaller house payment, a smaller drive to all things, and a smaller bunch of expenditures (like neighborhood associations.)

*We have wrestled with God about whether or not this was the right thing to do.

*We have wrestled with God about why He hasn't sold the house when we feel He asked us to be obedient in marketing it.

*We have been blessed with the spiritual process of waiting and trusting.

*We have gained a freedom in exhausting all human means of selling this house.

*We have experienced awesome bonds in friendship with others who are praying with and for us.

*We have great confidence in God's plan and anxiously await the end result of this adventure.

Seriously, I could write volumes more about this. I could go into great detail about the spiritual and emotional ups and downs. I could list out all the amazing experiences with people (especially my awesome parents!) and situations we've had over this past year.

It's been a journey, no doubt. It's still a journey.

God is the Alpha and the Omega. Things start and end with Him. Time is in His hand.

I love His provision and I love Him for revealing Himself in new ways. I'm thankful for His mercy as He is teaching us incredibly valuable truths and is strengthening our marriage, our resolve, and is encouraging us to persevere. I thank Him for answering my prayer for faith-strengthening in such a loving and gentle way.

I love you, LORD and I worship You!

Fireproof...

Something that is fireproof isn't something that prevents fire. It's just something that withstands fire. I pray for God to continue fireproofing my marriage.

Yeah, this flick has a slight fragrance of cheese, especially to the skeptics, but I believe this movie is going to have a huge impact on many families. I believe God will use this film to heal brokenness of marriages today and will provide the tools and encouragement for young people entering into marriage in the future. And just imagine the generational impact of those children who watch the healing within their home! It's exciting to think about!

Today, I prayed for another friend whose divorce is nearly final. I received this video from another friend I've been praying for as she and her husband divorced. And those two are just a small sampling of the huge number of loved ones who have followed this path over the past couple of years. It has been absolutely epidemic! Something is terribly wrong with the way Americans are viewing and entering marriage today. The heat and fire will definitely come to the home of a married couple but it should not cause a breakdown of the two elements. It should meld them together.

It's Just Impossible

Whether I write 50 words or 5000, none would be suitable for a blog entry about this tragedy.

Praise God this family has a deep faith and confidence.

Lord, please give them peace and endurance and bless them for glorifying You.

In A Very Difficult Situation

I hurt someone's feelings. I knew it was a possibility even though it was unintentional.

I have had a yucky feeling since the drama started. The email I sent tonight makes me feel at peace, though. I didn't mean harm and think I explained myself gently in response.

God says...

If I Hear "It Doesn't Have A Garage" One More Stinkin' Time...

Argh!

This weekend's house-lookers have "decided they must have a garage."

THEN LOOK AT THE HOUSE DESCRIPTION AND SEE THAT WE ONLY HAVE A DOUBLE PARKING-PAD!! Do not come to our house if you "must have a garage" because we do not have a garage! HELLO!

It's just so discouraging. SO discouraging.

And we found 2 houses today that we REALLY like.

Wish I Had More Time

There are lots of issues I'd love to sift through in my head and heart by writing more deeply here on my blog. Unfortunately, this season in life isn't that conducive. Even now, I'm typing with my right hand only while sitting with a sleeping one-year-old draped over my left shoulder and my left hand comforting his back. Today has been another clingy one but hopefully the 4th of his first round of molars will be completely through within the next day or so (making a total of 12 teeth!) I feel quite sure if I tried passing him to someone else or tried putting him on the bed, he'd be awake & grumpy for sure. These teething naps just aren't very deep.

Soooo, I'm typing this little bit now and reading through my blog reader while I have a moment. It was the reading of this post over at Amy's Humble Musings that prompted me to even write now. I love writing about subjects near to my heart (like Amy's that was SO well-done!!!) but my chunks of time for coherent thought are much slimmer than my waistline. That's why I've resorted to so many links lately.

As I watch the clock march forward, I'm struggling with "just" sitting here knowing the kitchen needs cleaning, I have schoolwork to grade, a shower to take, and grocery list to make. But this baby REALLY needs this overdue nap. And the rest of us REALLY need to make sure he gets it before church.

Oh goodie! He-Man just brought me my very loud cell phone screaming out Toby Mac's Boomin' ringtone. (Missed the call, though. Sorry whoever that was!) That means I'm no longer holding a napper, I'm comforting a nursing teether. Gotta change these cool ringtones to something not so....boomin'.

I am so impressed with how much I typed this time! Y'all better comment so I know it was worth it!

Sorry For All The Links & Stuff - A Little Update

I know I haven't written much personal stuff lately. I've had some things I could tell you about but then you'd think less of me so I've decided to just skip it.

Seriously, I've been pretty wrapped up in homeschooling (more tweaking needed and enacted today), lobbying, BoBB planning, house-selling, church-stuff-ing, etc. and just haven't done a good job blogging. Sorry.

I REALLY need to get an even better video of Captain walking because it is ADORABLE. He walks everywhere now and it's so darn cute!

Softball & baseball & T-ball sign-ups are this weekend! Here we go! Four playing this year!

Birthdays start next week on the 13th (Captain's) and run through June 22 (Rocky's.) Five kids' birthdays in 5 months. Good times! And, as the paragraph/sentence above states...right in the middle of ball season!

And did I mention lobbying? Yeah...AT LEAST once a month I will lobby at the State House for HB314 and SB240 (same bill presented in House & Senate.)

Thankfully, the children's musical ends this month, my creative movement group works through Easter, and the Adolescence class I'm going to teach only runs for 6 weeks. After those, please make me say 'no.'

I'm sad that I actually DID say 'no' to working at the kids' consignment sale this year. WAH! I will miss the perks that go along with that. I will be selling, though. Need the money for buying the next round of clothing for the kids!

Our house WILL SELL, ya know! The Redland Road Elementary School had its groundbreaking today. THAT is important!

God is working in my life.

OH! One of the coolest things we're doing right now is reading the Bible in a year. We're using this system and have been perfectly consistent so far (and praying to be able to continue, in Jesus' name!) We read one section silently while all sitting together (Psalms so far,) then turn to the OT "history" where Henry & I read (Genesis and starting Exodus this weekend) and finish with New Testament (Luke & Hebrews so far) where the kids each read portions. Of course, we've not completed any of those books so far but the schedule has taken us through large chunks of them. It's REALLY cool. I'm excited to know the kids will have already read the ENTIRE Bible at such young ages, by the end of this year! Isn't that awesome?

Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.

God Speaking Through Rick Burgess

I struggle to figure out what to type right here.

But after listening to the last words of Rick, in the unbelievable message he gave at his son's memorial service, I realize I need to toughen up. I need to quit being so easily defeated. I need to be about Kingdom work.

Pasting these videos into my blog is but a mere fraction of what I can do but it is something I MUST do, nonetheless.

Please watch these to the very end. I'm praying very specifically about some of you I know come to my blog. Please receive Jesus. He is THE way, THE truth, and THE life! Life's struggles are light when you are yoked with Him, and death is defeated when you accept His mercy and salvation.

Again, please watch these powerful videos. (turn volume way up)

The Wave Of Paralysis

You know, waves don't have very long lives. They come to shore, crash, then wash away. Depending on what causes the wave, there might be similar ones following or there might be shrinking ripples which eventually smooth out to glassy surfaces.

With all this house stuff, I have waves of emotional & spiritual paralysis. I have no real serious complaints about our living situation but sometimes I just feel sick and homeless. I want a house of my own. I want my own bed again. I want an answer to prayer.

This scripture spoke to me more loudly today than it has in the many times I've read it in the past. I NEEDED it today. Praise God for giving me this wonderful reminder! It made the wave crash and wash away...

2 Corinthians 4:18 NLT
So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

And THIS entry really drives it home.

THANK YOU, LORD. I am willing to wait while you re-adjust my gaze.

A Prayer I Have Begun To Pray

St. Ignatius Loyola prayed, "Teach us, Good Lord, to labor and to ask for no reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will."

Being the "words of affirmation" love language that I am, I struggle with being satisfied that following God's will is enough.

Take this house-selling stuff. I think it should be completed by now because of it being God's leading to do this. If God said to do it, shouldn't it be done by now? Shouldn't we be rewarded with an easy experience since we are being obedient and willing to sacrifice the luxury of our own large home?

"Teach us, Good Lord, to labor and to ask for no reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will."

And homeschooling... Shouldn't the kids joyfully bounce out of bed every day and gratefully get started on it and thank me profusely for being such a wonderful change from "real school?" Shouldn't we be in a groove by now? Shouldn't I feel accomplished at the end of a school day? Shouldn't I be gifted with perfect organizational skills and educational enthusiasm?

"Teach us, Good Lord, to labor and to ask for no reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will."

(NLT) Psalm 128:

1 How joyful are those who fear the Lord—
all who follow his ways!
2 You will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
How joyful and prosperous you will be!
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine,
flourishing within your home.
Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees
as they sit around your table.

So I will continue to fear the Lord and will continue to seek and desire and earnestly strive to follow His ways. I have faith that my joy will be full. And I pray, "Teach us, Good Lord, to labor and to ask for no reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will."

Whoever Said Homes Weren't Selling?

No, I'm not posting with the excellent news that our house is sold BUT I AM posting to complain (I need one of those bracelets!) that nearly every house we have been interested in has sold.

Hmph.

Deep breaths...

I set up a new blog to highlight our for-sale house. It's a work in progress but maybe it will help??

www.EmeraldMtn.blogspot.com

By the way, THANK YOU so much to everyone who prayed and is praying for us. I am not forgetting that many of you dear readers are in the same boat of needing/wanting your house to sell, too! I assure you, I am including you in my prayers and look forward to the day we celebrate this milestone!

Even in my complaining, I truly do know God has this planned and I am praising Him for it! What incredible mercy we are shown in this fallen world...

How Not To Obsess?

I don't know how Henry does it but he has no problem watching TV & letting his mind focus on the fictional & non-fictional sagas portrayed there. I, on the other hand, can't sit still for more than a minute or two without hitting the online MLS sites. I've tried detaching from the house I want by continuing to search online for potentials in our parameters. And when I get tired of looking at the same old houses over and over again, I start searching for any new houses in similar description to our for-sale house. In my obsessed little head, I think that continuing to look for houses will keep me from being so absorbed in the one that we really want.

But I'm SO not emotionally detached.

The evidence of that came today when Henry called to say "our" house had the for-sale sign out of the yard and a couple of cars under the carport. Online, the house is listed as "contingent."

Crap.

This past Tuesday, I prayer walked around and throughout our for-sale house. I'm being reminded over and over that it doesn't matter how much advertisement is done for our house. When it's time, it will happen. I am confident God has a plan to send the right person at the right time. I just wanna know when that will be. And I wanna know what house is for us after it does happen.

Waiting is so hard.

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT

No More House-Hunting

Hopefully, that is.

We found a house. We're trying not to be emotionally attached. It's a fixer-upper but mostly in the sense of needing MAJOR updating and not repair. It's old and big and we love it!

But we gotta sell our house, first.

We've never done any sort of project like this and I might be an idiot for thinking that it will be fun BUT, that's what I'm thinking. Honestly, if we get it all together like we have in our little heads, it will be the coolest house we've ever known! But it might/will be a long road. Of course, we won't be DIYers like my sis & bil so it should be at least a little less stressful than their experience (and more expensive) but I know it will be hard work. Budgeting and all things money will be stressful just because they are but, MAN I hope all this works out!

The excitement grew when our friend, an interior designer, came over and confirmed that it was indeed a cool house for us and proceeded to toss out AMAZING ideas on how to make the house perfect. Sigh...now I'm totally in love with it and all the HGTV makeover-ness that will go along with it!

So now I have to work hard at emotionaly detaching myself from this inanimate object while still praying passionately for God to please sell our house. Once it does, we plan to move forward. That's why we must also continue praying for God to let us know if we're heading the right direction or not. I'm willing to walk away from this house without a second guess if God doesn't have it in His plans for us (so please let us know, Lord!)

My Brain Hurts

There's just so much flying through the gray matter these days that it almost hurts. Wanna hear about it?

Of course, there's the minor issue of getting a house ready to sell. We're making daily trips to the house to pack & clean & to check on the cat (needs new home by the way!) and the progress is just sooo slow. Thankfully we are seeing good progress but it seems to have taken forever. We also have lots of little fixer-type projects and "the guy" we use for those type things is coming over tomorrow night. I'm truly scared of the cost that might be involved. That fear puts lots of thoughts in my head...

Thankfully, our realtors (we have 2 -- we're cool that way, ya know!) are super-encouraging about the house. Maybe they're just being sales-people?? It really doesn't matter because I need to hear their encouraging comments. Their pricing ideas meshed perfectly with our pricing ideas and that was a big blessing. They also complimented our "space" and this words-of-affirmation love language gal just soaked it up! OH, and they are so excited that we're not living there and have offered to "stage" the house for us! That gives me a nice HGTV-styled, warm, fuzzy feeling! I can't wait to see what they can do!

They also told us of a recent house-selling within a block or so of us and that the new neighborhood school being built being was a major draw. We're hoping to play on that school thing, too! Our house is just perfect for a family with lots of kids! We're hoping that little school (to open in 2009) will keep our house a little safer than most other houses in this "buyers' market."

In other news, we started our own school Tuesday. Day 1 was great. Things went very well. I will admit that I might have been a little too optimistic in thinking that this school year would be easier than last, though. I thought my pregnancy & post-partum months of teaching would be the more difficult of my homeschool experiences but these 2nd-year-pro months are proving that teaching with a teething 6-month-old and chatty 4 year-old might be the biggest of challenges.

Add to that a broken computer with a computer-based curriculum (busted on 2nd day!!) and you can safely deduce that I'm a little whipped. Tomorrow we will limp through another day of no computer but we have to have a better resolution to this problem by Monday. PRAISE GOD for my best friend's hubby being a computer guy! (J -- YOU TOTALLY ROCK! Thank you for all your help!!!) I will say, though, that the computer issue isn't 100% bad because it's giving me an opportunity to do more multi-aged teaching, which is cool. It's amazing how we've been able to incorporate things to make them jive but if I had to do this EVERY day, I don't know if I'd swing it all that well.

In the big picture, everything is going quite well, but the smaller picture shows the kids being a little wonky. The weirdness and activity of all these abnormal situations has started to affect the kids' behaviors. They're getting on each others' nerves a little easier than the norm and they're turning into tattle-telling, whiners that need more parental guidance. They're tired and maybe a little sub-conciously homesick and not really their happiest selves. I think the 'new' of all this is wearing off and they're feeling a little dizzy from the irregularities of each day. I'm hoping things will soon stabilize & we can all get some more rest and into some sort of pattern. When we can get the house completely show-ready, things will be MUCH better. The living arrangement we have is very good so my biggest desire right now is to just get done with the house and get it sold!

I'll share more soon.

Coughs, Knobs, & A Faux-Hawk

Before we went to the beach, Henry was trimming the bushes. That night and the next day (beach day) he had a pretty rough cough. He said it came from the dusty mess found in our previously neglected shrubs. Made sense to me. He struggled with feeling icky off and on at the beach but we kept thinking it was just his outdoor work causing the problems.

Then a couple of the kids started coughing after we got back home. Not sick, just a nagging cough. Hmmm.

This past Wednesday, Captain and I got it. Blech. We needed some major naps and lots of kleenex. Henry stayed home with us that one day because I really needed to rest enough to make it to church that night (which I did.) Poor Captain was dealing with teething on TOP of whatever we had (btw, teething saps a baby of their calcium reserves which DOES make them more susceptible to germs -- even though peds usually say that sickly, teething babies are just coincidental...whatever.) Thankfully/unfortunately, the tooth he was cutting broke through on that same Wednesday. He had a rough day.

But we're better, THANK YOU GOD, and hopefully its the last of sickness for a lonnng while. Teething, however, is only just beginning.

*****************************

We're packing things up to move in with the Gardeners next weekend! The boxing process is not going as fast as I'd like.

We're also making official, gotta-cross-these-off, lists of things we will be doing before sticking a sign in the yard. The house should be on the official market in just a couple of weeks!

Tonight we bought some new kitchen cabinet knobs on ebay. They were an incredible price compared to retail stores like Home Depot or even Walmart (whose options were crappy anyway) so we're just hoping they're good quality. They look to be nice and should be a simple way to spruce up the kitchen just a bit.

Watching "sell this house" -type shows is my way of doing research in this apparent "buyer's market." Our agent will meet with us after Labor Day to help further.

*******

He-Man is awesome. I'm just sayin'. Since watching the HORRIBLY (horribly) lame kid movie "Shark-Boy & Lava Girl" he has desired "spikey hair." It used to be that he was pleased enough with letting the girls play hair-do with him during bathtime but in the last couple of weeks, he's seriously wanted to carry the look with him throughout the day. So I've let him wear it up some but without using hair products, it wouldn't last very long. But the look has grown on me so today I used hairspray and gave him an adorable little faux-hawk.

He was beaming with pride, looking at himself in the mirror over and over and smiling.

Then he cracked us up by saying, "I look like Zac Efron!"

As we were standing in the hall outside of He-Man's class after church this morning, two cutesy, blonde, teenage girls walked by and said, "Awww! There's He-Man! HEY He-Man!!" As they walked off they said, "He's so cute!"

Yeah. I'm proud. Sorry :)

Angie - Telling Her Story

I am SO happy Angie has re-opened her blog to the public. Her story needs to be heard!

Priorities

Priority lists. I have two of them and they are broken down by two categories. Things I can do while holding Captain and things I can do quickly before Captain wakes up.

And I'm so behind that I struggle with what order to put things on these lists. Too many things are fighting for that top spot.

Today, menu and grocery-list-making was at the top of the list and checking them off the list took FOREVER. The actual shopping time had toget squished in, too. Not particularly fun.

Poor Indie has a bazillion school things she's waiting for me to grade. I feel bad about that. Ray has been easier to keep up-to-date with because she does her work on the laptop and I can nurse Captain and check her work all at the same time. Indie does her work on a desktop that isn't easy to sit at while I have Captain in my lap. Rocky is mostly up-to-date because his work is all in workbooks so we cuddle together anywhere to go over it. Today's schoolwork with him was done on my bed. He-Man brought his "work" to do on my bed today, too.

Yes, we kinda enjoyed doing school with a warm blanket on this cold APRIL day.

I just keep reminding myself that next school year will be very different. And we only have a few more days to struggle through for this year!

I wish I had Hiro's superpowers and could freeze time. If only things would just wait a minute, I might be able to catch up.

Blogging (reading & writing) is on both versions of the late-night to-do lists. Right now I'm checking off things from the "while I hold Captain" list. I do believe the rest of today's items will have to wait another day or more.

My Poor Mush Brain

I'm proud to say that not much brings me to tears these days. I'm especially proud that I can say that while still in a post-partum period. But I confess that I nearly lost it today.

There one thing that makes me more nauseated than wasting time is wasting money and today I thought I had done both through a terrible and embarrassing brain malfunction. Today was the last day I could order the SATs for the girls to be tested next month. I called the number, spoke with a lady that was a little "hmph" about me waiting until the last minute. I placed the order for a 2nd and 4th grade test. She said something like, "Do I have permission to confirm this order? Once submitted, it cannot be changed." I said, "Yes."

But did you catch the mistake? My girls are in 3rd and 5th grades! Not 2nd and 4th!!! And when we were doing the order she said things like, "2nd grade Spring, 3rd grade Fall." And I followed-up with, "Yes."

After giving my debit card information and getting an order confirmation number, I hung up the phone. And by God's mercy, I realized my mistake.

My eyes burned with near tears. NEAR. I tried to remain calm. Maybe there's still time to correct the error.

And thankfully there was. It took several minutes to cancel the previous order and place a new one but, PRAISE GOD, the error was corrected. Of course, I allowed Captain to fuss in the background, ever so slightly, as I used him and my hormonal mushbrain, to be part of my stupidity alibi.

The time wasted wasn't nearly as disgusting as the 88 bucks that might have been thrown down the toilet. Oh how I wish 88 bucks wasn't a big deal but it SO is.

Well, the Captain is really needing me now. I'll post about my struggles with priorities later.

Should I Write The Truth?

In an effort to be an uplifting and encouraging person, I am trying not to use this blog as a place to grumble and complain. However, today was such a rough day in so many ways that I feel as if I would be lying if I blogged and did NOT grumble about it.

No, nothing was life-threatening. Just normal, pesky stuff. Things like Ray & Indie trying to pull a fast one on me in an effort to get out of doing what they're supposed to do; kids watching TV and ignoring my telling them to get ready to go, only to make us scramble out the door later than we needed to; a poopy diaper while already running late; the discovery that Rocky's helmet & glove are not in the car; the realization that said helmet & glove were probably left at the ball fields Saturday; having to be cordial to two people (one by phone and one in person) who were compounding my running late problems; going to the wrong practice site for Rocky's practice and being even LATER; having to hike a mile from parking spot to ball field for Rocky's practice; realizing Rocky didn't put on his cleats in the car (which is parked a mile away;) nursing extremely patient (thank you CAPTAIN!) baby in car a mile away from Rocky's practice where I can't see what he's doing; walking back to the field only to find Rocky kicking up dirt and being left out of practice time because he doesn't have a glove (and is a lefty so can't borrow anyone else's;) feeling awful about the way I look because of baby fat and a too-rushed hairdo/ponytail; and lastly, feeling sorry for myself because Henry has drama practice for the Easter drama at church and won't be home until late.

But I'm not going to complain :)

Well, let me just say that prayer works. Henry took a minute out of practicing to call and check on me and let me know he had been praying for us. THAT was the key, I know it.

Miraculously, things on the ride home and at home were going very smoothly. I know the kids were making extra efforts to be sweet and helpful Dinner was enjoyable and at the table (rare on American Idol nights!) and everyone actually ate their beefaroni! YAY ME for remembering to separate out a portion for the boys BEFORE adding garlic and onions to the recipe because they will cause themselves to gag if they taste, smell, or see these things in their food. The partitioning of the food really made things go nicely at dinner time. Rocky even ate the big chunks of diced tomatoes!

Baths & devotional also went well. Believe me, I am praying some thanksgiving prayers tonight!

Forgive me for not doing the non-complaining thing very well.

Phillippians 2:13-15 NLT
13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.

Ugh.

Reality: My children are getting older.
Reality Check: Not everything they say and do is adorable.

Reality: Childhood mistakes sometimes become bigger as the child gets bigger.
Reality Check: More people are affected by bigger mistakes.

Reality: Talking about the mistakes of older children starts to creep in on privacy and respect issues of the child.
Reality Check: This issue being dealt with in the house right now makes me WANT to blog about it but I feel it would be wrong to do so because of the child's feelings.

Reality: Pre-teen life isn't going to be easy.
Reality Check: Gray hairs will be abundant.

Reality: PLUS helps Mom and Daughters with emotional balance and ability to handle stress.
Reality Check: PRAYER & GOD'S WORD are the only helps available for the trial-and-errors of growing up.